There were many factors and stages leading up to it. The deciding factor at the time, really it came down to money. I was feeling stuck and limited while relying on social assistance. The money for razors could be spent better on food. Little did I know then, that choice would be a catalyst to my thriving expansion.
For years body hair brought me feelings of shame and discomfort. At 2 or 3 years old I found a razor and tried to shave my eyebrow off. I don’t remember the exact reason why, but I cut my self and to this day I have a scar where the hair doesn’t grow.
I remember feeling my older sisters pain as she came home after being made fun of for her body hair in middle school. We are blessed with beautiful full dark hair, yet it felt like a curse in adolescence.
I would shave my legs and they would be prickly by the next morning. My armpits seemed even worse, I would rarely feel comfortable lifting my arms above my head. Raising a hand in class brought anxiety, would someone see my dark stubble? I dreaded gym class with the constant body shame I felt along with being over weight and chronically fatigued.
I came to realise I feared the shame I held of having a hairy body as a woman. It effected how I felt in my body every day and what I chose to wear. It brought me feelings of anxiety, shame, dread and discomfort. I questioned if shaving was adding value to my life. I decided to explore that more by facing my fear.
Initially I continued to trim my hair occasionally with an electric trimmer. I allowed myself time to adjust and get comfortable with it all. It’s a process. Having people in my life who are supportive and encouraging really helped. Seeing other woman who grew their hair allowed me to see it as a possibility for me too. Having exposed body hair in public was a mental challenge to over come to feel comfortable wearing what I want. It took time to accept and allow for others curiosity and discomfort.
I built a following on Instagram which really helped with embracing and loving my hair. From there I started my OnlyFans page where I offer additional content to my valued clientele. I have built my business which is continuing to grow and expand. I can now buy what I need and what I want. No longer relying on social assistance, I can allow myself to want nice things, and to buy them.
I haven’t shaved in the past couple years, the last time I trimmed at all was almost a year ago. The longer my hair has grown, the more I have come to love and respect it. It brings me joy, it brings me strength and abundance.
I feel beautiful, powerful and loved. I feel connected to my intuition and trust in myself. I have expanded in my presence and allow myself to be seen and loved.
I work with my body, nourishing and loving myself.
Release what is no longer serving you.
Find joy and pleasure in your body.
Love yourself and live your truth.
